Nancy Leigh DeMoss on Suffering

I heard the teaching of Nancy Leigh DeMoss for the first time this morning on my way to Panera to do some studying. I do not know how biblically solid she is or anything, but she had some excellent things to say this morning on the topic of why God's children get the shaft while His enemies seem to flourish. The lesson revolved around the narrative about Hannah and her struggle with infertility.

I was especially encouraged when she said, "God’s will is exactly what you and I would choose if we knew what God knows."

Read that again and think about it. You can listen to (or read) this same program by clicking here.

In The Thick Of It?

Sincerely consider the following questions: How have you been? How hectic is your life right now? Are you in the thick of life? Does life "have you by the horns?"

I have come to know one thing for certain in my 26 short years of life--we live in a fallen world--things are not as they should be. With every blessing comes a curse. We love the sunshine, but it all too often burns our skin and kills our crops. We love the sound of rain, but it all too often floods our towns and fields. We love relationships, but hearts are always being broken.

I was outside sweeping our driveway a few weeks ago. It was one of the most beautiful days of fall. I stopped sweeping for a moment to try and take it all in. I was standing there with my broom saying, "Wow Lord, this earth you created is absolutely beautiful. Thank you letting me enjoy it." Literally, as soon as these words came out of my lips (because I don't pray silently) 2 HUGE bee's attacked me (and they are huge here in NH) and had to run inside to avoid being stung. God never wants us to forget that we live in a fallen world. He is always reminding us of the silliness (think about that word), the silliness, of storing up our treasures here.
Has God been reminding you of the futility of storing up treasures on earth lately? This is never fun, because falleness hurts.

Maybe this will be of help to you in your situation--Whenever I am in the thick of life I always take a moment or two out of my day to merely sit down and prayerfully think of why the Lord might be bringing me through such a depressing trial.

Are you struggling in your marriage? Are you struggling financially? Are you struggling with your kids? Are you struggling with your best friends? Are you struggling with your pastor? Are you struggling with your parents? Are you struggling with your health? Are you struggling with sleep? Are you struggling with school? I am sure that every single person who reads this will answer yes to at least two of these, and if you are not struggling with at least two of these, let me assure you that soon and very soon you will--because we live in a fallen world.

Unbelievable! It is 5:45 am right now and I started writing this post last night right before going to bed. After laying James down to go to sleep Kristal and I were talking. "You know Kristal, this was a good day. It just didn't seem as stressful as it has been. I mean, James was happy, he ate well, we got to play Rummy, and I got a lot of school work done." Kristal looked at me and said, "Yeah, you are right, today was a good day." While this conversation was going on I was praying in my head to the Lord, "O God, please let James sleep all the night through. This has been such a good day and having to get up in the middle of the night is never fun." Kristal prayed for us before going to sleep and she prayed nearly the same thing. Well, guess what! At 2:45 am little Jamesaronious' feet started wiggling, which then led into a little "Eww Eww" action, which then turned into him kicking his feet, which then turned into a no-holes-barred crying fest! Once the crying starts we know we are up for at least an hour, but usually he doesn't like to throw short 1 hour parties, but rather likes to keep his guests for at least an hour and a half. YEP! We were up till 4:00 am. This morning as my alarm went off as usual at 5:00 am I looked at it with a hint of sarcasm and said, "Oh no, we don't live in a fallen world."

I thought you would enjoy that story. How appropriate, It is almost as if the Lord wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to write on something that I haven't already thoroughly experienced.

So anyway, where did I leave off last night before going to bed? Oh yeah, we live in a fallen world! One of the ways I have dealt with the frustration, pain, anger, and depression that this world so often throws at us is by simply taking a few minutes out of my day to answer the question "Why is the Lord bringing me through this trial?"

Why did the Lord decide to get Kristal and I up in the middle of the night last night?
Why is the Lord taking you through struggles in your marriage right now?
Why is the Lord taking you through medical struggles right now?
Why is the Lord taking you throw financial struggles right now?

I am not saying that you should try to come to a complete understanding of why the Lord is taking you through your specific trial, but just that it is helpful to brain storm why He might be doing it. Ultimately, the specific purpose(s) behind our trials is something we will not know until glory. However, it is of utmost help if you simply try and think on these things.

Want me to exemplify what I mean?

-Why did the Lord decide to get Kristal and I up in the middle of the night last night?

Ultimately I am not sure, but I do know that His purposes are good--He only does what is best for His glory and His people. Maybe the Lord got me up in order to remind me that even our best days on earth are contaminated by the fall. Maybe He got me up so that I might be forced to practice Christ-like patience (I struggle with patience the most in the middle of the night--I get short and am often irritable). Maybe the Lord got me up so that I might call upon His name (and I did--I was adamantly praying that He would make James go back to sleep).

Do you see?! This little exercise is so helpful. It gets your mind in the right place. It helps put your trials in perspective. Even though you may not be able to nail down exactly why the Lord is bringing you through your trial, excitement begins to well up knowing that there are a thousand good reasons why he might be taking you through it. Here's the goal--turn your trials (your moments of frustration, pain, anger, and depression) into times of celebration, because you know that God is on your side and that He will not bring you through something "just cuz".

Of course, some trials are much greater than others. Marriage struggles and death are not on par with having to get up for an hour and a half in the middle of the night. However, no horrid situation is above God's loving providence. I don't care how severe your trial is--God is taking you through it for a good reason. This is not to say that the effects of sin and Satan are not real, but it is to say that God works all things together for the good. I am afraid that often times we don't like to think of God's providence because as soon as we do so we are no longer justified in our frustration and anger. Hear me out, pursuing hope is so much more satisfying than pursuing justification to be angry and irritable. This does not mean that we slap a big fat smiley face on our problems and explain them away, but it does mean that we put them in perspective.

An Excellent Post on Earthly Reality

I would recommend all who frequent my blog to read a post entitled "Learn to Live with Pain, Then Go One Better" by Ariel (one of my classmates from Seminary).
Ariel has an amazing gift of communicating real life Christianity. Enjoy the gift God has given him for the building up of the body of Christ. Ariel's writing is consistently insightful, so when you read this post check out some of the other stuff he has written.

Suffering, Prayer, and the Will of God

Just to warn you, this is a long one. I encourage you to take your time with it and really try to understand everything stated. Since the day Baby James was born, Kristal and I have been meditating on what the Word of God has to say about suffering, prayer, and the will of God. One of the things I have come to see during this time is that many have an over-simplified view of suffering. Some attribute suffering solely to Satan. Some attribute it solely to the judgement and/or plan of God. Some attribute it solely to human sin. This post is the result of Kristal and I trying to be faithful to the whole counsel of God's Word. Many may be suspicious of what we are saying because we are a bit detailed about it. However, being detailed is not always bad. Often times, and in this post, detail is the result of attempting to be faithful to the whole counsel of God's Word.

For starters, we must all understand that prayer is real communication. Prayer is not a magic button we push to get stuff. Some people believe that if you pray in a certain way and say just the right words then God will somehow be a bit more apt to answer your prayers. This is downright wrong. Surely there are wrong ways to come to God, but this is not my point. There is no formula to prayer. Prayer is real lively conversation between a finite person saved by grace to an infinitely wonderful, loving, just, faithful, wrathful, merciful, kind Savior who died for sinners. Whenever this aspect of real living conversation is divorced from prayer we miss the whole of what prayer is. Prayer is asking God for stuff, it is petition. God has the perogative to either give what we ask for or deny it. However, we have the knowledge that if God denies us something it is not because He was not able to give it or because He doesn't delight in blessing His kids, but rather because He has something much better in mind. Some people believe that if they pray a certain number of minutes or hours that God is somehow obligated to give them exactly what they asked for. Some people believe that if they end their prayer using the words "in Jesus name" God is somehow obligated to give them exactly what they asked for. Prayer is when a believer desires something and asks the Father in faith knowing that God will not disappoint. Prayer is a believer petitioning the Father for something in faith believing that God's promises are true no matter the outcome.

Think with me for a moment about our situation with Baby James--Kristal and I fervently prayed for 9 whole months that our baby be born healthy. We prayed that our baby be born with no complications. I guarantee that we prayed more before his birth that there be no complications than we have since his birth that he would survive and fully recover from his brain injury. However, Baby James was not born healthy. There were complications with the birth. Do not for one minute think that God did not hear our many many many prayers for Baby James. God did not disappoint Kristal and I. We know that God heard every single prayer we offered up for an uncomplicated delivery. Why then was he born with complications? Did God fail? Did God not answer our prayer? Did Satan get a victory? Were our prayers useless because God was not able to defeat Satan? Did we somehow fail in our praying? We have had so many people over the past few weeks tell us that our baby is going to heal 100%. Their reasoning for this is because everyone is praying. But we all must remember that for 9 whole months we prayed fervently that Baby James be born without complications and yet he was born with complications. So if God did not answer our prayer the way we asked before he was born, how can we have confidence that he is going to answer our prayers the way we ask now that he is born? I am not writing this to bring up doubts in your minds about the power and efficacy of prayer. I am writing this to help us get a biblical view of prayer. How then is this dilemma solved? God promises to answer prayer, yet He seemed to not answer our thousands upon thousands of prayers that Baby James be born without complications. The question is why. Why was this prayer not answered the exact way it was prayed? Many people do not like the thought that this might have happened because God willed it to fulfill His purposes; they do not like this answer because it seems to make God out to be an agent of evil. Others do not like the thought that this might have happened because of the work of Satan; they do not like this answer because it seems to limit the power of God and ruins our hope that God actually can answer our prayers. Still others do not like the thought that this could have been because of human sin; they do not like this answer because it makes God look like an angry cuss.

Why, according to the Bible, was Baby James born the way he was? Why did the Lord not answer our prayers for a uncomplicated delivery the way we asked? Ultimately, Why do bad things happen to God's people in spite of their fervent praying?" I have come up with 7 reasons from the Scriptures. Each reason given is a clear reason given in Scripture why something bad happened to God's children.

Reason #1: It could have been the result of the fall. We know that God cursed mankind as the result of the fall. God specifically told Adam and Eve in Gen 2:15 that if they were to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they would surely die. Well, Adam and Eve ate of this tree. When they ate of this tree, God's promise of judgement was enacted upon humanity. Many people have a problem with this because they want to attribute all death and disease to Satan. But to do so would be a mistake. Notice that it was not Satan, but the Lord, who said, "If you eat of it you shall surely die." Death is first and foremost the work of the Lord. It is God's judgement not only against specific individual sins, but also God's judgement against humanity for sin in general--it is the result of the fall. Many have a hard time with this because they want to whole heartedly believe that God would not judge his own people. The common response is this, "What do you mean, I thought God took all judgement toward His own people away on the cross? How are you going to say that an all-loving God would continue to judge His own people?" I can sympathize with this rejection of what I am saying, however I do not think it is biblical. God surely has promised to not judge His own people, but we must make a distinction between temporal/earthly judgement and eternal/hell-bound judgment. God has promised to save his people from Hell, but He has not promised to save us from temporal/earthly judgement. This is why we get all pumped up and thankful when God supernaturally heals--we realize that this is not something He always does. The difference between Christians and non-Christians is that God works his judgement for the good of His children. The judgement of God against non-believers works against them. Do not all Christians die regardless of their piety, prayer life, faith, and good deeds? Every single Christian who has ever walked the face of this earth has died. And if you are still alive, unless you live to see the second coming, you will die as well. Has Satan won a victory every time one of God's kids died? Whenever a person dies, are we to simply attribute it to their lack of faith or prayer? Of course not! Think about the most godly person you know. One thing is true of that person. He/she will die. Why will he/she die? Because God meant what he said when He said, "if you eat of it you shall surely die." Never forget that diseases, wounds, deformities, pain, labor, and death are the work of God's judgement against mankind because of the fall. Of course, He often saves His people through healing, but He never promised to save His people from all diseases in this temporal/earthly life. He has also never promised to save His people from death. He has also never promised to save his female children from His work of judgement expressed through the pain of child birth (Genesis 3:16). How many godly, faithful women do you know who experienced absolutely no pain in labor? He also never promised to save his male children from His work of judgement expressed through the toil of working the ground (Genesis 3:17). This is God's judgement. Yea, judgement that God's children experience even after their conversion.

Reason #2: It could be the result of a lack of faith. After Jesus first started his ministry, He went to His hometown (Nazareth), but he did not do many miracles there (Matthew 13:58). Why did he not do many miracles? Because of their lack of faith. I am not saying that this was the case in our situation, but it is an option. It could be that when Kristal and I prayed for an uncomplicated delivery, God did not answer because of a lack of faith on our part.

Reason #3: It could be the result of a specific sin. After David committed adultery with Bathsheba she became pregnant. To cover up his mistake, David sent Bathsheba's husband to the front lines to be slaughtered. Whatever happened to the child conceived as the result of David's adultery? He died. In 2 Samuel 12:1-22 we see a conversation between David and Nathan. God had Nathan tell David that He was going to judge him for his sin (of adultery and murder) by taking the life of his child. David prayed and prayed and prayed and yet the Lord took the life of his child. Once again, notice that this was not the work of Satan, but rather the work of the Lord. I am not saying that this was the case with our boy, but it is an option. God could have been judging Kristal and I for some specific sin. Once again, I am not saying that this is the case, but I am trying to lay forth all of the reasons why God did not answer someone's prayer the way they wanted Him to. We must remember that God is faithful to both His promises of blessing and judgement. When God promises to meet out judgement, He will bring it about. We always talk about the promise of heaven, but we also must remember that Hell is promised to those who do not turn to Christ in faith. God met out judgement upon David because of the specific sin of adultery.

Reason #4: It could have been the work of Satan. We see in the first chapter of Job a conversation between God and Satan. Satan came to God to ask him permission to bring calamity upon God's most faithful servant. Notice that Satan had to ask God's permission. Throughout the book of Job, anytime Satan wanted to up Job's suffering he had to keep going back to God to get further permission. This is why Satan is described best as a dog on a very short leash. God knew his servant and gave Satan the permission to wreak havoc on Job's family, servants, and property. Here we do see that Satan's plan was death, diseases, and ruin. Baby James' livelihood could have been attacked by Satan. Although this may be the case, we must not overlook the fact that after all of this happened Job said, "The LORD gives and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." The Lord then affirms Job's words by saying, "And in all of this Job did not sin with his lips." You see, the Lord did not simply allow Satan to do this. Job understood that life and death are not ultimately in the hands of Satan, but in the hands of the Lord. As strange and as uncomfortable as it sounds, the Lord caused this calamity to come upon Job. Notice how Job attributes all the deaths in his family to the Lord when he says, "The Lord takes away." He does not say, "Satan takes away." Yet, it was very clear that it was the work of Satan in Chapters 1 and 2. So was it Satan or was it the Lord? I think we have to say that it was both. Both Satan and the Lord caused it. But we must ultimately attribute it to the Lord, because Job did not sin with His lips when he did so. God uses Satan like he used Babylon to destroy Israel. In Jerermiah 51:20-24 the Lord speaks about using the wicked nation of Babylon as a tool of destruction. He actually used Babylon to destroy Israel as a farmer uses a hoe to break up the ground. In Isaiah 10:5 we see that God used Assyria in the same way. It is interesting to point out that after God used Babylon to destroy Israel, He destroyed wicked Babylon for destroying Israel out of an evil heart. Strange, but biblical. This is a good illustration of how God uses Satan to further His purposes. He uses Satan as a tool to bring calamity upon people. This does not mean that God and Satan are partners in crime, but it does mean that God sovereignly uses Satan's work of destruction to fulfill his purposes. This is most clearly evidenced by Satan's evil work of putting Christ on the cross. Although Satan causes trouble everywhere he goes, he cannot escape sovereignty. He cannot escape the Divine plan. Every little thing he does furthers the purpose and plan of God. This does not mean that the Lord is not opposed to Satan. NO! He is opposed to Satan in the same way that He was opposed to Babylon. He is opposed, but God is so wise and big that He has worked the evil actions of Satan into His predetermined plan. Notice that Satan is not even mentioned past Job 2. The rest of the book of Job is about Job blaming God with injustice for causing such destruction to him and his family. Never does God deny that He caused Job's destruction. No, He affirms Job's understanding of His own sovereignty in Job's suffering. His issue with Job is that he is accusing God of injustice. Think with me for a moment about the sin of Judas. Judas handed Christ over to the authorities that they might put Him to death. John 13:2 specifically states that the Devil put it into the heart of Judas to hand Christ over to be killed. So here we see that it was Satan who enticed Judas to sin. However we see in Acts 2:23 and again in 4:28-29 that Jesus was handed over according to the predetermined plan of God, the foreknowledge of God, the hand of God, and the purpose of God. So who did it, Satan or God? Well... both. But the Scriptures seem to put God forward as the primary agent of action. So once again, you see that although Satan was actively involved in the death of Christ, it was ultimately the work of the Lord. I am in no way trying to trivialize the work of Satan, rather I am trying to put it into it's right perspective. Satan truly does work. Satan is a true adversary. It is his work to steal, kill, and destroy. Yes, Satan does have a hand in some of the suffering in the world. Yes, Satan does have a hand in some of the death in the world. Yes, Satan is a true force. However, we must understand the work of Satan in the context of the sovereignty of God. I once heard an excellent illustration describing how the work of Satan fits into the plan and purpose of God: There were once two people who lived next to each other. The one was a Christian and avidly sought a friendship with his neighbor who was a non-believer. The more the believer pursued a friendship, the more his neighbor hated him. The man's anger toward his Christian neighbor grew so great that he decided to go cut down his Christian neighbors' favorite Oak tree in the back of his property. So, he got himself an axe, tromped over to his neighbor's house, and began hacking away. After he finally chopped through the trunk of the big beautiful oak, the tree fell on top of him. He was trapped and could not get away. Later that day the Christian went out back of his house surprised to see his beloved oak chopped down. He quickly ran over to his trapped neighbor. He cried out, "Are you ok? What happened?" His neighbor replied, "I chopped your favorite oak down because I hate you and it fell on me. But I don't care. I would do it again because I hate you." The Christian neighbor then looked at the man with a smile on his face and said, "Sorry that my tree had to fall on you. But thanks! I was planning on cutting it down sometime this week because I was planning on using it to build a deck on the back of my house." You see, in an attempt to do evil against his Christian neighbor, he ended up serving his neighbor. This is a helpful way of looking at the work of Satan in our lives. Satan simply can try and try and try to defeat our Great God, but he cannot. Not only can he not successfully be a threat or a problem for our God, everything he does actually fulfills the purposes of the Lord. This is why in Romans 8:31, Paul says, "if God is for us who can be against us." What Paul is saying is that no one can successfully be against the people of God. How can you successfully be against an infinitely wise, sovereign, and powerful God? Everything Satan does, as strange as it seems, furthers the purpose and plan of our God. Everything Satan did to Christ fulfilled prophecy which proved the validity of the claims of Christ. Yes, Satan could be a factor in our situation, but we must remember that Satan only does that which the Lord allows. We must also remember that God is the ultimate actor on the stage of this earth.

Reason #5: The Lord could have brought this about so that He might bring glory to His name. In John 9, Jesus came into contact with a man who was born blind. When this man met Jesus he was 40. Everyone knew of this man. Everyday as they went to the market place they saw him on the side of the road begging for food, money, and shelter. One day as Jesus and His disciples were walking by this man one of the disciples asked Jesus, "Rabbi, why was this man born blind? Was it because he sinned, or was it because his parents sinned?" (John 9:1) Jesus' response is not quite what we would expect it to be. He does not attribute this man's blindness to Satan. He does not attribute it to his lack of faith or his lack of prayer. The Lord attributes this man's blindness to Himself. "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life" (John 9:2). The purpose of this man's blindness was to bring glory to God. God desires to show Himself to be the great physician. God loves to flex His muscles. God loves to show off his ability to bring hope to a hopeless situation. In our situation with James, has not God revealed Himself as the one who is mighty to heal? Has He not revealed Himself as the one who cares for us? Has He not revealed Himself as the one who "does what He pleases? (Psalm 115). Baby James' complications were not a mistake. God did not drop the ball. He was creating a situation by which He might get glory. I understand that this is a hard pill to swallow. Many may say, "Jimmy, what are you saying? Are you saying that God orchestrated things to happen the way He did? Are you saying that a loving God put you, your wife, your family, and your baby through large amounts of pain and trauma for the sake of showing off His ability to heal and answer prayer?" To put it a bit bluntly, Yes! That is exactly what I am saying. Never forget that the man Jesus healed was blind for 40 years. He experienced 40 full years of darkness. He experienced 40 years of difficulty. Being blind in the 1st Century is completely different than being blind in the 21st Century. Being blind in the 1st Century meant leading a life hardship and begging. This is not to say that being blind in the 21st century is not fraught with problems, but because of technology, welfare, and a generally more sympathetic society a life plagued with blindness today is much easier. The Lord purposed 40 years of hardship for this man "so that the work of God might be displayed in Him."

Reason #6: The Lord could have brought this about for the simple reason of providence. The Lord has mysterious ways about moving people where He wants them. In Acts 7 we learn about the stoning of one of the spiritual giants of the early church. In Acts 8 we see that on the same day that Stephen was martyred for the faith, "a great persecution broke out against the church in Jerusalem" (Acts 8:2). What was the result of this persecution? Read the rest of Acts 8:2--"all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria." And then we see in 8:4 that "those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went." Who would of thought! Persecution, as bad as it was, actually advanced the Gospel. Jesus, addressing the disciples in Acts 1:8, said that they would be "my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Jesus' words were fulfilled when the disciples fled from Jerusalem as a result of persecution. If it were not for the persecution, the majority of the disciples would have remained in Jerusalem. Persecution forced the disciples out to preach the Gospel to the rest of the world. I have no doubt in my mind that the Lord brought this situation about so that Kristal and I may have a Gospel impact on those we would have otherwise not been in contact with. For example, If we had not of gotten pregnant, we would still be in Kansas City and we would not have been in contact with the people we are now in contact with. The Lord moves His people where He wants them so that He might impact specific people in a specific way. Kristal and I have had numerous opportunities to share the Gospel with doctors and nurses that we would not have had if our circumstances were different. Because of the effects of Baby James' injury and disabilities, we will be around people we would not otherwise be around. It is our job as ambassador's for Christ to be faithful evangelists to those the Lord sovereignly puts in our path. Do not think this was a mistake. Do not think that the Lord did not know what He was doing by bringing this all about. He has such wonderful plans for His people. He has His eyes set on specific people and He wants to use us to bring them to the hope of eternal life. The Lord may not move His people where He wants them the way we would choose, but remember that "His ways are not our ways" (Isaiah 55:9).

Reason #7: This could have happened for the sake of our Spiritual growth. Paul, in Romans 5:3 says, "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Suffering is one of the greatest tools the Lord uses to bring about Christ likeness. It is suffering which reminds us that the treasures that this earth has to offer are incomplete and ultimately unsatisfying. It is suffering which convinces us that it is better to "store up treasures in heaven." It is also in suffering where we find intimacy with our savior Jesus Christ. In Philippians 3 Paul says, "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection." So many people stop here and convienently forget to read the rest of the passage which says, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead." Notice that we fellowship with Christ by "sharing in his sufferings." I have no doubt in my mind that the Lord brought this about so that Kristal and I (and others of course) might grow more and more into the image of Christ. We, as Christians, are not to love trials in and of themselves, but we all ought to love what they bring about in the lives of God's people. The Lord is fashioning Kristal and I into His image, because "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint" (Romans 5:3-4). Trials for unbelievers work against them, but trials for believers bring about a hope that "does not disappoint."

I know that there are other reasons from the Scriptures, but this was a semi-thorough list of why bad things happen to God's people regardless of their great faith and prayer. Once again this is not to call into question the power and efficacy of prayer. All God's Kids believe that God answers prayer. However all God's kids also believe that not every prayer prayed is answered the exact way it is prayed. The difference between Christians is their belief as to why these prayers are not answered the exact way they are prayed. This is why I wrote this post--so that our idea of how God responds to our praying might be shaped solely by the Word of God. God is faithful to His promises. If God does not answer a prayer the way it is prayed, it is not because God could not deliver. God is not the sort of God who makes promises that He cannot keep. If God does not answer a prayer the way it is prayed, it is not because God has somehow failed to be faithful. In our situation with Baby James, we can be certain of one thing--God was completely faithful to respond to our prayers the way He did. Continue in steadfast prayer for Baby James knowing who God is and how He works. God has not dissapointed us! Pray knowing that God is going to do what is best for His name, His people, and His Gospel. God is so gracious and so kind. God has left a line of communication open for us to cast all our cares upon Him. God is able to do abundantly more than we could ever imagine or ask. God is the most wonderful God. God is in control and nothing stands in His way. He does whatever He pleases. This is a good thing, because He is only pleased by what is best for His name, His people, and His Gospel. Kristal and I have confidence in the fact that God will not disappoint us. Kristal and I have confidence that God answers prayer according to His good, loving, and wise plan. Let us together seek to place our faith in the whole counsel of God's Word. Let this be one of those things that occupies our days for the rest of our lives.

Some Good OLD Quotes

Kristal recieved a super encouraging letter from our good friend Katie. In this letter, Katie shared with Kristal some encouraging quotes from Thomas Watson and Charles Spurgeon. Kristal and I were blessed by them. We trust that you will be blessed by them too. There are quite a few quotes and they are written in old english so get ready.

Thomas Watson "All Things for Good"
Regarding the "promises of God work for good to the godly":
-God does not bring His people into troubles, and leave them there. He will stand by them; He will hold their heads and hearts when they are falling. (16)

The mercies of God work for good to the godly:
-So says a gracious heart, 'Lord, what am I, that it should be better with me than others? That I should drink of the fruit of the vine, when others drink, not only a cup of wormwood, but a cup of blood (or suffering to death). What am I, that I should have those mercies which others want, who are better than I? Lord, why is it, that notwithstanding all my unworthiness, a fresh tide of mercy comes in every day? The mercies of God make a sinner proud, but a saint humble. (17-18)

The evil of affliction works for good to the godly:
-His life, as Calvin says, was a series of sufferings, 'a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief (Isa 53:3). He wept and bled. Was His head crowned with thorns, and do we think to be crowned with roses? It is good to be like Christ, though it be by sufferings. (28)

-If a physician should say to a patient, 'Your body is distempered, and full of bad humours, which must be cleared out, or you die; but I will prescribe physic which, though it may make you sick, yet it will carry away the dregs of your disease, and save your life;' would not this be for the good of the patient? Afflictions are the medicine which God uses to carry off our spiritual diseases; they cure the tympany of pride, the fever of lust, the dropsy of covetousness. Do they not work for good? (29)

-It may be said, how do afflictions make us happy? We reply that, being sactified, they bring us nearer to God. The moon in the full is furthest off from the sun: so are many further off from God in the full-moon of prosperity; afflictions bring them nearer to God. (31)

-God's ways are 'past finding out' (Rom 11:33). They are rather to be admired than fathomed. There is never a providence of God, but has either a mercy or a wonder in it. How stupendous and infinite is that wisdom, that makes the most adverse dispensations work for the good of His children! Learn how little cause we have then to be discontented at outward trials and emergencies! What! Discontented at that which shall do us good! All things shall work for good. There are no sins God's people are more subject to than unbelief and impatience. They are ready either to faint through unbelief, or to fret through impatience. When men fly out against God by discontent or impatience it is a sign they do not believe this text. Discontent is an ungrateful sin, because we have more mercies than afflictions; and it is an irrational sin, because afflictions work for good... Shall we be discontended at that which works for our good. (61)

-When we look upon adverse providences, and see the Lord covering His people with ashes, and
'making them drunk with wormwood' (lam 3:15), we may be ready to call in question the love of God, and to say that He deals harshly with His people. But, oh no, yet God is good to Israel, because He makes all things work for good. Is not He a good God, who turns all to good? He works out sin, and works in grace; is not this good? (62)

-Thus let us endeavor to make the name of God glorious and renowned. If God seeks our good, let us seek His glory. If He makes all things tend to our edification, let us make all things tend to His exaltation. (65)

Charles Spureon, "Beside Still Waters"
-Trials greatly enlarge the soul. Thus I do not want, in my better mind, to escape great trials, since they involve great graces. If my strength shall be as my days (Deut 33:25), then let my days be long and dark, for my strength will be mighty, God will be glorified, and I will be blessed. I earnestly urge every tested Christian to dwell on this truth, for it may be a great comfort. There is love, immortal and unchanging love, in heaven toward you, which will never grow cold. You will be helped. God will sooner cease to be than cease to be faithful. Be of good courage, for today He will stengthen your heart.

Persist With Us

It is so nice to be back home. Baby James was at the Hospital for over 3 weeks. We have not gotten much sleep since we have been home--Baby James has a lot of gas and is in pain all day and all night. If he is awake he is crying. If he is asleep, he is still uncomfortable and wiggles and moves a lot. Please be praying for him that he would get some relief. We had an appointment with our pediatritian today and she hooked us up with some reflux medicine and some new formula that is super easy to digest. Please be praying that this new medicine works well and fast. Also, he has to feed every three hours around the clock, and each feeding takes about an hour and a half, and it takes two people to help feed because feeding through the g-tube is not quite the easiest thing to do. Kristal and I have been getting, on average, about 2 hours of sleep every night since we have been home. We have been blessed though because John and Kelly (my inlaws) have been super duper helpful. During the day Kristal and I will take turns napping while Kelly helps with the feedings. Kristal is still trying to heal from the delivery and I am trying to study for my finals and so really be praying that we would get our z's. The Lord was good to me because the school is allowing me to extend my finals date, which is a huge blessing. This morning the doctor said that James is healing well from his surgery and circumcision--Praise God. Right now the biggest prayer request is that James would get relief from this bad gas that he has been having. Thank you all so much for continuing to pray. Please continue earnestly because Baby James has a long way to go. Times will be much less stressful when he is able to eat orally. Also, be praying that he would fully recover from his brain injury. The doc's say that there is a chance that his motor skills (running, talking, walking etc) could be very poor as a result of his injury. His sucking is getting much much better. He mauls the binki now, which is a huge improvement. Oh, and thanks for praying about his crying! I think you might have taken us a little too seriously when we asked you to pray for that! God sort of over answered that prayer, because, as I said, he never stops crying. Like they always say, "be careful what you ask for." Actually, although his crying is never ending and proves to be a bit overwhelming, it is a blessing. The Doctors were all rejoicing and happy the first time they heard him cry (which, by the way, if I haven't fill you in yet, I was the first one to make him cry and it was the result of a classic "dad doesn't know how to change the baby's diaper" moment--it was pretty funny and typical. I had diaper rash creme all over me and the baby was all wrapped up in cords and everything else was going on). They said that his crying is an indication that he is healing from his brian injury. God is still answering prayer. God's grace is still being lavished on us.

I am a firm believer that God will often times delay an answer to pray to test us to see how much we will persist. He in a sense tests our faith in and dependence upon him. He wants to see if we actually believe that "cares for us." Continue to place your faith in the Infinitely Loving King of Kings and Lord Lords with Kristal and I. Comitt to believing what He has said in His word about Himself. Comitt to taking Him seriously when He says that He cares for us. Comit to believing God, because God has spoken--He has spoken many wonderful things about his power to heal and save. He has spoken many wonderful things about His love and care for sinners. Persisting in prayer is all about believing God. Persisting in prayer is all about believing that God is faithful to His promises. I urge you to persist in prayer on behalf of Baby James.

Please Pray

Kristal and I have some new news concerning Baby James. But first of all, he is doing very good. He is still slowly progressing with his sucking, gagging, and swallowing, but he is still not to the point where he can eat orally. The Lactation Consultant yesterday attempted to bottle feed him a tiny bit. He was able to get it down, but only after some coughing and choking. We had a little issue with one of the nurses because she tried to feed him orally without letting anyone know about it--including us, the therapist who is working on his sucking, gagging, and swallowing, and (as crazy as it may seem) the doctors. Kristal, being a good mommy, stood up and expressed her disapproval of this. It really was just sort of a strange ordeal, because everything that has happened with the baby so far has been a team effort. All of the doctors and nurses get together and discuss their plan of action. There was no plan discussed for oral feeding at this time, and so when Kristal and I learned that the nurse had done this without discussing it with anyone first, a red flag immediately popped up. The Lord directed us to the right people and they have sort of rectified the situation. We had a consultation with the Surgeon today regarding the G-Tube. Baby James is scheduled to go into surgery Thursday afternoon sometime. We will keep you all posted on this. At first we thought they were going to place the g-tube without surgery, but after talking to the Doctor about it today, it seems much safer to implant it from the outside in by way of an inscision rather than making a hole in his tummy from the inside out. The inscision will be very small and will heal in a matter of days. They have to sedate him for this surgery and so while he is sedated they are going to circumcise him as well. They are thankful that we are circumcising because they are going to be able to take his foreskin and use it to do further tests to make sure his brain injury is not the result of a rare metabolic disorder. They are very sure that his brain injury was caused by birth trauma, but they do not want to leave any stones unturned. Beause James is getting the g-tube does not mean that his ability to eat will in any way be harmed. The g-tube will stay in only as long as it takes for him to eat orally. Once he can get all of his food through his mouth they will take the tube out. We are a bit nervous about the surgery, but we know that a g-tube is much more comfortable for a baby than a feeding tube through the nose, AND we know that as long as he has a tube through his nose he cannot leave the hospital. They are guessing that we will be discharged sometime this weekend or the early part of next week. Please be praying for his surgery. Pray that the Lord would protect our little man while they are working on him. Pray that the Lord would grant the doctors skill, wisdom and precision and that there would be no complications. These two operations are very straight forward and there are very few complications associated with them, but, as with any operations, mistakes can be made. Please also pray, because he needs an IV and the nurses tell us that his veins are hard to find. Please also pray that he handles the anestesia well--that it works and that he he does not have any allergic reactions etc. Please also pray for Kristal and I that we get some sleep. We are ready to go home and are getting stressed with little sleep, tension, anticipation, and information. Also, pray for me because I have to take my finals next week.

One of the scriptures that stuck out to me as I was reading the book of John to Baby James was John 16:21-22. "Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you."

Now of course this verse jumped out at me because we just had a child and I saw Kristal go through labor (which, by the way, for those who have not seen their wives in labor--beware, your wife is much tougher than you think. If she flips out at you in what I would like to term "labor mode," you, my friend, are in a world of hurt). On a serious note this verse offers Chrstians with wonderful hope. I just want to make a few comments on this passage. First of all (and most obviously), notice that Jesus is here comparing the pain and trial of living in a fallen world with the pain and trial of labor. Jesus, up unto this point, has been talking about the horrid life one lives as a follower of Christ. No, don't think I mispoke, the HORRID life one lives as a follower of Christ. When I say "horrid" I do not mean joyless or hopeless. Jesus, in the context of this hunk of Scriptures tells us that "if the world persecuted Me they will persecute you also." In 16:20 he talks about how the world will rejoice and we will grieve. Why do you think Jesus exhorts those who wish to be converted to "count the cost?" Do not misinterpret Jesus' words by spiritualizing them when He exhorts us to "pick up our cross daily." When he said that he literally meant that unless we are suffering for the sake of the Gospel--we are not worthy to be his disciples. As weird as it may sound, if you are not bearing reproach because of the name of Jesus Christ there is something wrong. Jesus, in the sermon on the Mount says, "Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness." The life of a follower of Christ is, according to earthly criteria, horrid. After all, the entire reason why Peter wrote 1 Peter was to encourage the persecuted Christians; the reason the author of Hebrews wrote Hebrews was to encourage the persecuted Christians, the reason John wrote Revelation was in large part to encourage persecuted Christians, it is argued that the main reason Mark wrote his Gospel was to encourage persecuted Christians. This is also a major theme in the book of 2 Corinthians. There were some false teachers in Corinth and the way that Paul goes about showing why they should follow his teaching rather than the teaching of the false teachers is by shedding light on his afflictions on account of the Gospel. (Oh, and don't be mistaken about what that 'thorn" in his flesh was in Chapter 12--it is persecutions--the word "thorn" is the same word used for the 12 inch spike used to nail Christ to the cross, and he explains what his thorn was in the verses following when he says, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Paul here actually boasts in his afflictions). Persecution is promised to those who are in Christ. Why on earth then would you want to be a Christian? If Christianity is accompanied with such "grief" then why celebrate? Because the pain, agony, heartache, and hunger are worth it. This is the point of the passage. Jesus likens the pain and toil of this earth to the pain and toil of labor. No woman after having her child will say, "Ohhhh, I would throw this baby away in a heart beat if only I could take away the pain that accompanied his coming into the world." NO! The mother takes one look at her new baby and says, "It was worth it!" She does not forget the pain. It does not mean that once the child is in your arms that somehow there was no pain in labor. No, the memory and lasting effects of the pain are still real, however, the pain and grief were worth the child. The pain and grief we go through for the sake of Christ are worth it. When we get to heaven we will all say, "That was worth it."

One more observation. The promise is that our grief will be turned into joy. A couple gets pregnant and even before they have the child they live as though they already had the child. Kristal and I even went so far as to prepare Baby James' room for him two whole months before he was born. We (or I guess Kristal) washed all of his clothes and folded them and set up his room way before he was born. Expecting parents begin to buy things, they begin to think differently and everything even before the child is born. We in the same way WILL be changed by this thought of heaven. We are in a sense expecting--we are expecting a new home in a new place called Heaven. The things of this world tend to shape our perception. We are not to live as though this is all there is. When you have the promise of the child it is not the same thing as having the child, but it is not the same as having nothing. When you get pregnant you actually don’t know if you are going to have the child, but not so with the Spirit bearing witness about the hope of heaven. We KNOW that it is coming. So we also having been promised heaven do not now actually have it now--we have not completely been relieved from the trials of this life, however it is not as though we have nothing. Rather, we have a certainty of heaven based upon the unfalling word of the never-lying always-faithful God who is both Sovereign and Good. We will grieve, but we have this certainty. The woman cannot know the reality of having a child, but she has the testimonies of other mothers. The pain is still as awful, but the pain is lesser because of the hope. When we get to heaven we will not look at this earth and say, "Hey that wasn’t suffering," But we will say, "hey that was worth it." What a terrible thing to be apart from Christ. Look at what we look forward to. (This paragraph is a revised, expanded, and personalized version of my notes from one of my lectures from my Personal Spiritual Disciplines class taught by Dr. Mark Devine at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary).

The exhortation is to be bold in your proclamation of the Gospel. Lose all for the sake of Christ. Proclaim loudly and boldly. Bear the reproach of the Gospel knowing for certain that you do not suffer in vain. You have the hope of heaven. And as the Author of Life says Himself, "and no one can take this joy away from you!" Like a bold mother who wheathers the storm of birth with joy in the midst of pain, wheather the storm of the call of Christ with joy in the midst of pain. Maybe men, just maybe, this section of verses might be best understood by our women. It would be interesting to see some comments from women about how their labor has changed their perspective on anticipating heaven.

God is the Mover and Shaker!

Kristal and I have recieved quite a lot of new news today regarding Baby James. First of all, he is still progressing. The lactation consultant dropped by to see how well James is progressing with his sucking, swallowing, and gagging. The consensus is that his ability to swallow is getting better but definitely not where they want it; he is sucking a little bit, but has a long way to go, and they did get him to gag, but once again he has a long way to go. The Neurologist reviewed his last EEG test and said that his brain activity is getting more and more normal as time goes on. Therefore, Dr. Morris decided that it would be best to take him off the seizure medicine, which is a good thing because the seizure medicine has a sedative in it which of course makes him sleepy. Taking him off the seizure medicine may allow him to wake up a bit more so that he might be more able to work on his sucking, gagging, and swallowing. Like I have said before sucking, gagging, and swallowing are all of the things that make eating through the mouth a possibility. Right now the only thing keeping James in the Intensive Care Unit is his inability to eat orally. Please be praying that now that James is off the seizure medicine that he will be awake enough to relearn the natural instincts of sucking, gagging, and swallowing. Also please pray that he will have no seizures while off the medicine. They are confident that he will not have any, but it is still a possibility, and they want to test it now while he is still in the intensive care unit. The team of doctors that we have been working with since we have been here are at a point where they are discussing a plan for releasing James from the hospital. He is no longer in critical condition. This is a huge answer to prayer. We are really excited about the confidence that the doctors are showing in James' ability to survive without a nurse looking after him 24/7. However, there is a healthy dose of nerves for Kristal and I. There is a fear of bringing him home especially considering the fact that it was only a week ago when he could not breath on his own. Please pray that the doctors would make a wise decision about when James is able to come home. We of course want him home as soon as possible, but we would rather stay here longer if it means the health of our boy. We do believe that Baby James is getting more and more ready for coming home. Right now they are discussing plans for our bringing him home. Of course right now James cannot eat orally and so they are making plans for how we are going to be able to get around that. Right now the plan is to place a g-tube in his belly. A g-tube is a small tube that they poke through the inside of his belly. It is in a sense like a the hole through which you gas your car. The tube does not stick out of his belly--it does not stick out further than his skin, and the hole is covered by a little button. Whenever it is time to feed him you merely take the cap (or button) off and hook a little hose to it and feed him that way. The doctors say it is extremely easy to work and painless for the baby. It sounds much more scary than what it is. Kristal and I got to give James a bath last night which was really cool. He was pretty squirmy but handled it quite well.

As I said before, I am reading to James. I just finished the book of John with him. One of the nurses told me after I finished reading to him that in all of the years she has worked there, she has never heard anyone read the Bible. I said, "Well, it's a good book, of course I'm going to read it." To that she just sort of humored me and said, "Yes it is." I know that many people are hearing the word of God as I read it to James. There are a lot of nurses and a lot of parents who are in hearing distance from me when I read to him. And trust me, I am not trying to keep it down while reading to him. I am sure that there are some of you who have been reading my blogs and are thinking that I am on crack. It may appear to many of you that I have a wrong view of things. After all, Kristal and I are going through a crisis and it seems that I have said very little about the power of prayer. I have commented very little on those verses which speak about a believer's confidence in prayer. Well, even though it seems that I have not spoken directly about prayer, I actually have. The power of prayer is found in God. Every post so far has focused on the character of God because it is in the character of God that we find our confidence in our praying. We do not pray because we believe that prayer in and of itself changes things. We pray because God changes things. So many Christians today have an abstract confidence in prayer divorced from a Biblical view of the character of God. What is prayer without God? Prayer is only as good as the one to whom you are praying. Isn't this true? Aren't you dependent upon the one to whom you are praying to ANSWER your prayer. What if the one to whom you are praying is not able answer your prayer? Will that not make your prayers less effective. I believe this is the very point of the Psalmist in Psalm 115 when he says, "Why should the nations say, 'Where, now, is their God?' But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases. The idols of the nations are silver and Gold, the work of man's hands. They have mouths, but they cannot see. They have ears, but they cannot hear; they have noses, but they cannot smell, they have hands, but they cannot feel; they have feet, but they cannot walk. They cannot make a sound with thier throat. Those who make them will become like them, Everyone who trusts in them. O ISRAEL, TRUST IN THE LORD; HE IS THEIR HELP AND THEIR SHIELD."

What a powerful set of verses from Psalm 115! The whole point of the Psalmist is really to say, "Trusting is not enough. Who cares if you have faith. The only kind of faith that will endure is a faith placed specifically and only in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." I don't care if you pray. Prayer in and of itself is useless and weak. What I care about is if you are praying to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Praying to saints is profitless because saints can't do anything for you or me. Why? Because they have the character of mere mortals. What good it is to pray to a God who is not in control of all things? If God is not in control of all things then His ability to answer prayer is limited. I focus on the character of God because the character of God is that which convinces me that his promises are true. The Israelites, in Psalm 115 were trusting in and praying to Idols which could not speak or feel. The Psalmist was telling them that these prayers were worthless. He exhorted them to "Trust the Lord." The question we need to ask is this, "Why trust the Lord?" Because the character of the Lord is much greater and more powerful than the character of Idols. This surely is a time to exhort people to prayer. However, we must remember who God is so that we might be able to believe Him when He makse such wonderful promises in His word. Our God is a God who cannot be defeated. Our God is the God is who merely SPOKE light into existence. Our God is the God who provided the Israelites manna in the desert to eat. Our God is the God who took away Job's family. Our God is the God who blessed Job with a bigger family in the end. Our God is the God who has rose from the grave. Our God is the God who "Does whatever he pleases." Our God is the God who exhorted us to "cast all our cares upon Him who cares for us." Our God is the God who is never taken by surprise. Our God is the God who has never lost one single battle "to the prince of the power of the air." Our God is the God who promised us that He "will work all things together for the good." Our God is the God who is "for us." Our God is the God who offers living water. Our God is the God is ABLE to do abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine. I focus on the character of God so that when I visit those verses about prayer, I might be able to know who said it. Don't find your hope in prayer itself. Don't find your hope in the amount of praying that you do. Don't find your hope in your great faith. Find your hope in God. For He is the mover and shaker of prayer. Focus on Him--And then go and visit those passages about the power of prayer. (which I will be doing shortly).

Enjoying our Baby

Today has been another excellent day. Although there is no new good news today from the doctors, it is becoming very apparent to Kristal and I that he is continuing to progress. First of all, his skin tone is getting much better. He was sort of swollen and red when he first got to the hospital. His skin has been getting better everyday, but it was noticably better today. He is also making many more baby sounds. Another thing that is really exciting is that he will follow your face when you talk to him. He is getting much better at focusing. Everything little thing is a blessing from the Lord. I wish yall could see the immense difference between Baby James today as opposed to Baby James on the day of his birth. The nurse told us that she only needed to suction his throat one time today. This is great news because just two days ago he was in need of suction at least twice an hour. Of course, this means that he is getting much much better at swallowing. He is still not gagging like they want him to and he is not sucking like they want him to. These two things are really the most important things that you can be praying about right now. His lack of ability to gag and suck is what is keeping him from being able to eat through his mouth, therefore he is still on a feeding tube. Please do not stop praying for our little guy with a fervent spirit. Surely our baby seems to be out of the woods in regard to whether he is going to live or not (and we thank God for this), but imagine never being able to eat through your mouth. If he cannot learn to gag or suck and swallow (better) then he will have to have a g tube placed in his belly. Pretty much a g-tube is a tube they surgically place in his belly and we feed him through the tube rather than him eating his food. Not life or death, but miserable vs unmiserable for the rest of his life. So please please do not stop praying for him with extreme passion. Our God is a great God and he loves to show Himself mighty to answer prayer. Please pray that his brain injury would continue to heal and that God would supernaturally grant Baby James the ability to gag, suck and swallow. We truly do covet your prayer. And we truly do thank you for your prayers. Thank you so much for being faithful. One more thing, the doctors are going to be doing some more tests on him to see if his problems have to do body chemestry. They are going to be doing another MRI test, some blood tests, and some other tests to look for extremely rare desieses and metabolic problems. Please be praying that these tests bring us encouraging and positive news. Thanks. Also be praying that Kristal would continue to heal. She is very uncomfortable and sore.

Because of Baby James' tramatic birth, Ihave not had opportunity to celebrate my new status as a father. Usually when a baby is born the dad jumps up and down and cannot control his excitment. He goes over to his baby with shakey hands to cut the umbilical cord. However, When Baby James was born I stood up to cut his umbilical cord but was too slow, because he came out not breathing and they had to rush him to the surgery table and therefore clipped it for me. Rather than being excited and pumped up I was worried and nervous. We, along with the doctor's and nurses, thought we were going to lose our baby. Well, the Lord today sort of made up for it. I am not sure if you know what Kangarooing is. But I kangarooed him today. Kangarooing is where you take your shirt off and they put the baby on your chest. He was sleeping when the put him on my chest. When they put him on my chest I got out my Bible and read to him. I read John Chapters 1-7. Whenever I would stop reading to turn the page he would get all squirmmy and would get irratated. But once I started reading again he would go back to sleep. This time with him was so stinking cool. I want to share with you one of the wonderful things I read to him while he was on my chest. I could and probably will put some more of the verses that stuck out to me as I read to him, but for now I will only put one. I do feel bad because I read to him out of the ESV rather than the NASB--I hope it doesn't cause him troubles later in life--just kidding--sort of.

One verse that really stuck out was John 3:16. We all know it. But think with me for a moment. Many people have a hard time accepting the fact that God is in control at times like this. They love the verse in Job where he confessess that "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord," but they do not realize why Job said this. Job said this because God took away his entire family and property. Literally his whole family (except his wife) died. What was Jobs response in Chapter 2? "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." You see, God is the giver and taker of life. After Job said this, God pretty much said that Job was right in saying this when he said, "In all of this Job did not sin with his lips." Many people have a hard time with this because they wonder how a God who is infinitely loving could not just allow, but cause something like this to happen. How could a loving God not just allow the death of a man's whole family, but actually cause it? Well, I am not going to solve that mystery for you and no one probably ever will. However, one of the things that has helped me deal with this mystery is in knowing that "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son." You see, God does not take human life for kicks and giggles. God gave the His own Son over to death for the sake of our souls. Whatever circumstances you have been through you can be assured of one thing--God put CHrist through much much worse circumstances. Job's crisis, as bad as it was, does not even compare to the horror and pain of the cross. How can a loving God send people to hell for an eternity? Well, He does not send people to hell for an eternity without taking it Himself on the cross. Do not be afraid of losing the doctrine of the love of God by embracing the doctrine of the Sovereignty of God over ALL things. For those things that He puts us through He put himself through.

A Clarification to last nights comments

Just to clarify last nights comments: I am in no way saying that God does not take our requests seriously. What I am saying is that our hope should not be found in the brilliance and confidence of what we think is best, our hope should be found in the character of God. When you pray for anything you should realize that prayer is real communication. You are talking to God as a child talks to his parent. You are asking God for something in the same way as a child asks his father for something. Your Father will often deny you something that you really think you need not because your desire is bad, but becuase your Father has something much much better in store. Cry out to God. Tell Him your desires and wants--He takes your desires and wants very seriously. But at the end of the day, because He has your best interests in mind (and knows what your best interests are better than you do, and because he knows how to achieve your best interests better than you do) He may deny you your desire because He has something much greater in store. Something that is far more wonderful than you could ever imagine to ask for. This news is wonderful because the Character of God is infinitely Good and without flaw. If this news makes you a bit uncomfortable then I suggest meditating on the Character of God and especially as it has been revealed must fully in the cross of Christ.

A much needed break

The Lord has given Kristal and I yet another wonderful day. Although there was no new good news, there was also no new bad news. Right now where we stand, no news is not better than good news, but it is still pleasant. We have been through so much since Sunday that a day of no new news provides us a needed break. Kristal and I got to spend quite a lot of time today with Baby James. He is a bit more alert today than he has been. He is still super sleepy because of the seizure medicine, but he is starting to open his eyes quite a lot more. The nurse says that he really wakes up right before feeding time. It is the most wonderful thing to hold him and look at him. He sleeps with his hands above his head. He sleeps in a sprawled out position and looks like he is just hanging out. Please continue to pray for Baby James. Although there has been no new bad news, the Doctors are still quite concerned for him. Please do not stop praying fervently for the Lord to strengthen and heal our little boy. Also, pray for Kristal and I that we might get some more sleep. We have been running silly since we have been here. Kristal especially has not had much opportunity for sleep. Thank you all so much for your continued prayers.

For the sake of reminding you all and for the sake of reminding myself I will say this. God is in control. Robin Mark has a wonderful song and the only words in the song are "Jesus, all for Jesus, all I am, have, and ever hope to be. For It's only in your will that I am free." Short, simple, but extremely biblical. My prayer is obviously that Baby James would be healed and that he be 100% normal in absolutely every aspect of his being. However, I know that God knows much more than I. I know that my perspective is small and distorted by sin. I know that God sees the big picture. I know that God knows how to get what is best for His own name and for His own people better than I do. I pray fervently for the healing and well being of my little boy, but I most fervently pray that the Lord do whatever He deems as best. I can pray most fervently for this because I can, through God's word, be assured that he truly is good. My friends, our God is so good. God's plans are so high above us. He works in such mysterious ways. Only when we get to heaven will we realize how ill informed our praying was. Only when we get to heaven will we see how much more wonderful it is when we ask God to do what he deems best, rather than demanding God to do what we deem as best. Trust Him, Lean on Him, embrace your weakness and ignorance and look to Him for all things. I am in no way saying that we should not make our requests known to God. I am saying that we should understand that our requests flow from the heart, mind, and mouth of a limited perspective. Make your requests known to God but find your greatest comfort at the end of your prayers when you say, "may your will be done." When you say "may your will be done," you are in essence saying, "I so desire so and so, but I understand that my desires (although good) may not be as good as what you have in store."

Praise the Lord for a Good Day

Today has truly been a blessing from the Lord. We were woke up this morning by a phone call from our nurse saying that Baby James' breathing tube was taken out around 7:45 am. He has been off his breathing tube all day long without forgetting to breath. For those who don't know, the breathing tube was taken out a few days ago, but they had to continually keep an eye on him because he would forget to breath. They ended putting it back in because he was having such a hard time. So it is refreshing to see him back off the breathing tube and doing fine without it. The doctors see his independent breathing as an obvious big step for Baby James. We had a talk with Dr. Edwards tonight and he told us that James is doing extremely well considering his tramatic circumstances and considering the fact that he is only five days old. There are a few things that do concern Dr. Edwards, but he says that we just need to give James the time to heal. Please pray that Baby James would be better at swallowing, gagging (seriously--it is a necessity), regulating his body temperature, waking up for longer periods of time, and crying. These are all things that all full term babies are supposed to be able to do. Because of his injury he is slowly learning how to do all of these things. The doctors right now are still doing tests but are mainly directing their decisions based off of how Baby James is progressing.

Both Kristal and I were fortunate to hold James quite a lot today. Even though he is not all that active, he seemed to be quite content today. He is a cute little guy. Hopefully tomorrow Kristal will be able to start breast feeding him.

We do thank the Lord for all of you and for all of your prayers. The Lord has especially provided for Kristal and I through our parents. They have been so faithful to encourage us, spend time with us, get us whatever we need, and be an emotional support since the get go. Please pray that the Lord would doubly bless our parents (John, Kelly, Jim, and Lynn) for their goodness to us. Also, please pray for Kristal, she is quite sore and is having to get up throughout the night to pump and take medicine. She went through a lot during the delivery and is recovering quickly, but is still experiencing much discomfort.

One of the things that the Lord has taught Kristal and I through this trying time is how important it is for us to have our eyes on heaven. The Lord has been teaching me quite a lot about the doctrine of heaven throughout the past few months. I have been studying the book of 1 Peter and the book of Hebrews quite a lot, and the doctrine of heaven truly is the most prominent doctrine in both of those books. Surely the doctrine of CHrist and His work do recieve quite the attention, but the doctrine of Christ and His work is generally discussed to show exactly how assured we can be that our salvation is sure and unalterable. Some condemn certain Christians of being so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good. This may be true depending on what you mean by "heavenly minded." But, I would suggest, that most Christians are on the opposite extreme--they are so earthly minded that they are no heavenly good. The doctrine of heaven is that which gives us the strength to praise God in the midst of terrifying circumstances. The doctrine of heaven is that which gives us confidence that no matter how bad things get here, we are looking forward to a place where there are no dissapointments. In the book of Hebrews and 1 Peter the doctrine of heaven is taht which specifically emboldens Christians undergoing persecution to continue in their profession of faith and bold proclamation. The doctrine of heaven seems to be deemphasized in most doctrinally driven churches because it has been distorted by our warped culture. Shows like Touched by an Angel seem to cause us to not want to emphasize it all that much in fear that people will see us as overly sentamental and fluffy. But God has given us much about the doctrine of heaven because it is a great help to us. It keeps a smile on our face and contentment in our hearts when nothing goes our way. Please read and reread and reread Hebrews and 1 Peter a few times in the next few days and feast on the wonderful truth of paradise. The doctrine of heaven to me is like a big fat juicy steak, it is filling and satisfying. It reminds me that discomfort and trouble are to be expected in this life, but that there is coming a day for those who know the Lord--a day of peace and rest. A day where we no longer fear anything. Feast on the wonderful REALITY of your eternal dwelling. Remember that you are just aliens and sojourners here on this earth, and live like it.

An update and some thoughts

As all of you know Kristal (my wife) gave birth to James Ryan Snowden II on Sunday morning (4/15) at 7:27 am. There were many complications with the delivery. Baby James came out without a heart beat and without ability to use his lungs. They quickly resuscitated him, but soon after he started having seizures. They immediately sent him up to Darthmouth Hitchcock Intensive Care Unit about an hour north of Concord, NH. Yesterday they put him back on the oxygen ventilator. His lungs are doing fine, but he is for some reason not taking the initiative to breath on his own. Right now they are running tests on him to see what caused the seizures. They got back an MRI which showed a mild to moderate brain injury to the center of the brain. The DR said that this is a common injury to full term babies. The DR said that, considering the size of this brain injury, the baby should not be doing as poorly as he is. Therefore they are going to do some more testing, because he believes that there is something else causing James II to be super sleepy and in need of help breathing. The DR also said that although James II has not had any seizures since the day of his birth, the EEG testing reveals that it is most likely only because of the seizure medicine (Phenabarbatol--sorry about the spelling) that they gave him. In regard to the brain injury, the DR said that there is no telling how it will recover. Everything is up in the air right now in terms of what caused the seizures. I will keep ya'll posted.

The Lord has been especially good to Kristal and I. He has given us grace to trust His sovereign hand. It is times like this that make people want to reject the sovereignty of God over all things. It has been difficult at times for me to want to fully embrace this aspect of God's revelation about Himself, but it is precisley this doctrine which has given Kristal and I the greatest hope, because this all sovereign God is also an all good God. He does not use his sovereignty like Hitler used his. He uses it as an infinitely good, loving, merciful, and kind King would. In fact, God desires our good more than we desire our good. God is both willing (good) and able (sovereign) to do abundantly more than any of us could ever ask or imagine. We know that whatever happens, it will be for our good. God has given us His Word to help us read meaning into our experiences. Without the word someone may look at our circumstances and come away thinking that God is either not good or not ultimately sovereign and that Satan has the upper hand. But the one who is leaning upon God's Word to shape the way they interpret their experiences will know that Satan has been defeated, and that God does all things for His Glory and for the good of his people.

God has taught both Kristal and I the fleeting nature of this earth. Please O please do not store up treasures here on this earth. The things of this world, over the past few days, have become so meaningless. Do not live for this world. Store up your treasures in heaven. For if we gain the whole world, and if all of our children are healthy, wealthy, and wise, and if all of our children live to be 100 years old but we lose our souls we are of most to be pitied. One thing is for sure, everyone will die. Another thing is for sure, only those who endure to the end will be saved. Keep your eyes on Christ. He is all you have. Find your joy in Him. Find your confidence in Him. Find your everything in Him. For he is the only thing that is everlasting and ultimately satisifying. If you lose Him you lose everything. But if you gain Him you no longer have needs.

Thank you all for your prayers. God is mighty to save. God is always quick to show Himself as the one who answers prayer. Keep praying for He is both willing (good) and able (sovereign).

Cliche- "I have a personal relationship with God" Part 5

Christianity is a religion of faith. For starters, we worship an invisible God. Well, how do you know He exists if you cannot see Him? You cannot prove He exists (Oh, and by the way, this is true, you cannot prove, scientifically, that God exists. And Hey, you don't have to). It is a matter of faith.

Jesus died on the cross for our sins and bought our salvation. Well, this is well and good, but how do you know that what Jesus did was effective? It is a matter of faith.

Jesus is God! Super! but once again, you can't prove it. Christianity is a religion of faith.

A believer's hope for heaven is enjoyed by faith. The fact that we have the Spirit indwelling us is a matter of faith. The fact that we have been risen with Christ to walk in newness of life is a matter of faith.

Hope in the midst of fear and death is a matter of faith. Those of little faith certainly cannot be Christians.

What I have found in my walk with God is that my relationship with God is strongest when, like a child, I embrace the doctrinal truths of Scripture. The more I embrace doctrines like justification by faith alone apart from the works of the law, the closer my relationship with God becomes. It is not about merely observing biblical truth, but it is about embracing it--making it your very own.

Having a right relationship with God has very little to do with "feeling" His presence. It has very little to do with feeling and hearing and seeing spiritual things. It has everything to do with embracing spiritual realities by faith. Is your faith so small that you need to "feel" the presence of God in order to feel close to Him. When you go to church, do you need to "sense" the presence of God in order to have assurance that He is there? Is the Bible not enough? Or do you need glimpses of the supernatural to trust the things that the supernatural has already said in His Word?

I am not saying that God does not come in these supernatural ways. I am not saying that God will never let you "feel" His presence (whatever that means). But if your faith in Him is determined by how much you are experiencing these sorts of things then you are not basing your relationship with God on Scripture. Your relationship with God is to be based on faith, not experience. God is not near to me as my wife is near to me. I cannot see or sense His presence. Yet, I know He is near just as much as I know that my wife is near. How? Because I trust what God has said in His Word.

Do I have a vibrant relationship with God. I am not setting my self up as some sort of spiritual giant, but I answer with a resounding, "Yes!" I am close with God. I have a wonderful relationship with my Savior. Yet, I cannot say that I have experienced His presence in a physical way. I have never "felt" His love, in a physical way. Of course I have been very emotional in the presence of God, but this does not mean that I "felt" his presence.

This morning I read the book of Romans for my quiet time. I got to chapters 4-5 and was floored by the love of Christ to me as demonstrated by His death on the cross. I guess I could say that I "felt" the love of Christ. But I did not "feel" the love of Christ in the same way that I feel the love of my wife when I look in her eyes. I felt the love of Christ by faith. This morning I feasted on the love of Christ, and it was very fulfilling. But it was a feast of faith, not of sight.

We need to be careful how we communicate our relationship with God. It sets up unattainable ideas in the minds of other Christians. They feel unspiritual because they cannot say with complete honesty that they have "felt" or "sensed" the presence of God. When, in fact, those who say that they "feel" and "sense" the presence of God do not really feel and sense it in the way that we normally use these terms.

I have a wonderful relationship with God. I experience this relationship by faith. I embrace the fact that God is present and loves me by faith. I embrace these truths and make them my own, because God has told me that these things are true. He has told me this in His Word.

I will now share the most memorable experience that I have had with God.

I have been married now since May 27, 2006. In August, Kristal (my wife) started feeling sick to her stomach. She started becoming nauseous from the time she got up to the time she went to bed. We then decided to get a pregnancy test. For sure, she was pregnant! This was good news for the both of us. However, we were in for a ride. Kristal's nausea quickly got worse. Her pregnancy sickness lasted about 5 months (she is still feeling the after effects). She would lay on the couch all day long. Her diet consisted solely of Honey Nut Cheerios with extra honey.

She was absolutely miserable. At this time I was working 25 hours a week at a help desk, doing full time master's degree schooling, fulfilling the duties on an internship at my church, and doing all of the house chores that my wife was not able to do (all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping etc), and I, of course, had to spend time with her. The hardest thing about Kristal's sickness was the mental stress. Leaving the apartment every morning was difficult. Everything in me wanted to stay home with her.

When at work or school it killed me to know that she was home alone. Coming home was also difficult because I knew that I was coming home to a horribly sick person. There is nothing worse than watching the one you love the most experience such discomfort and pain for such an extended period of time. The hardest thing was knowing that she was much much more miserable than I. In this period Kristal and I had many sobering conversations about the sovereignty of God.

If God is in control of everything then He must be in control of this. Why then will He not stop the sickness? Many answer by saying that God is trying the best He can, but this definitely does not come from scripture as read in context. The Scripture does not present God in such a weak and impotent way. The Bible teaches that God is in control, and that nothing happens apart from His will. The correct answer is that God is in control and He is doing this for our good.

Oh, my friends, theology is so practical. Why is God continuing to let this sickness continue to make my wife miserable? Because He knows better than me. This sickness is actually what is best (in whatever way) for me and my wife. How do you know? Because God is good. Because God loves His kids. God knows what is best for me and my wife better than me and my wife do. This is a reality that God's kids need to embrace.

Where am I going with this? Kristal's sickness had gone on about 2.5 months or so and my Intermediate Greek and Elementary Hebrew midterm exams were about 3 weeks away and I had no time to study the entire semester because I was too busy taking care of my wife. I also had to preach and teach Sunday school that weekend. At this point Kristal was at her worst. To say the least, I was overwelhmed.

It was 6:10 a.m. and I was on my way to the car because I was going to a Wednesday morning men's study breakfast. As I opened the car door I looked to heaven and said, "Why? Why God? Why won't you just heal her?"

All of the sudden I began to laugh. I should have been crying. I should have had a nervous break down, but no, I started laughing. I looked back up to heaven and started laughing. I said, "You are so stinking good! I wish I could see this situation from Your point of view. Even though I hate seeing my wife in such a state, I know that we are both in safer place here than any where else. No matter what happens, and no matter how long this lasts I rejoice in the work of the Lord. I cannot wait! I cannot wait to see what you are up to. I LOVE BEING A CHILD OF GOD! Nothing can touch me. Nothing can harm me. If God is for me, if God is for my wife, then who can successfully be against us. I AM CHILD OF GOD!"

I did not "feel" the presence of God that wonderful Wednesday morning, but, by faith, I enjoyed some wonderful fellowship with the Father. I knew that I was safe. I knew that my bride was safe. I knew that our baby (Jimmy Jr.) was safe. I knew, by faith, that God was in control. I still hated the thought of my wife being sick. I still hated the thought of leaving her alone. I so badly wanted to be there with her. I did want this, but I wanted what I had much much more. I would much rather have the knowledge of the goodness and sovereignty of God than physical health. Christianity is such a relational religion.

Do you want a personal relationship with God? Feast on the truth's of Scripture as read in context. Do you want fulfilling devotionals. Then study Scripture in context and embrace it. I love God! I enjoy a wonderful relationship with Him. This relationship has not grown as much through a whole bunch of introspective prayer times. The catalyst of this relationship has not been super duper long devotionals. This relationship has been fostered through obedience and trust. My friends, what happens when you no longer "feel" the Lord moving? What happens when you no longer "sense" his presence? First of all, when you no longer feel or sense these things does this mean that you are no longer spiritual? If you say yes, then show me, from scripture read in context, how you got that.

A right relationship with God can be enjoyed when you are up, down, cold, dry, tired, hurt, depressed, afraid, happy etc. It can be enjoyed and sustained while you are reading, praying, singing, listening to the radio, running, playing with your kids, doing the dishes, listening to a sermon, evangelizing, feeding the poor etc.

God loves His people. He wants His people to trust what He has said in His word. I am not saying that we should not seek the supernatural. But, the emphasis in scripture is simple belief. The emphasis in scripture is for believers to live an ordinary life while embracing the overwhelmingly wonderful doctrines of Scripture. The Spirit does work supernaturally. But the greatest supernatural work of the Holy Spirit is empressing biblical truth on the heart of believers to such an extent that they will put more weight on what the Bible has to say than on what their experience has to say. If anything is a work of the Spirit, believing the radical teachings of the Bible is it.